Change is happening around us constantly. Sometimes we are more affected by it than other times. Sometimes you may even initiate change to be more successful. Going through different stages of your life is an example of change that happens whether you like it or not.
How do you manage change?
Change can be scary as you feel new things, entertain different thoughts and leave old ways behind. It requires more energy and focus to change. This is not a time to lose energy by committing any of the barriers listed below.
Here are 10 barriers that can stall self-growth:
- Denial. It's difficult to grow when you don't see the need. Instead, listen to the quiet voice inside and to those around you that you respect. Get the support you need to see the truth.
- Seeing yourself as a victim. Staying a victim is a choice which stops you from becoming the empowered person you are meant to be. Instead, choose to be a survivor.
- Self-loathing. Nothing stops self-hatred faster than self-care. Instead, choose to be kind to yourself.
- Blame. Pointing your finger at another prevents you from seeing your own role. Instead, check your actions to determine what your role might have been.
- Defensiveness. This is a racket we swing against anything that suggests we might be at fault. It usually is intended to hide your fear. Instead, choose to be willing to listen to other view points before you speak. If you are at fault, you can apologize and try to see "faults" as opportunities to grow.
- Fear. Fear is usually a part of change. Instead, determine and acknowledge what is scary about the change. Think of previous times you have shown courage. Make a plan with small steps you are willing to take.
- Rage. This feeling is a call for attention to what is the worst thing that could happen. Acknowledge the feeling but do not get stuck here. Instead, take a short time out (10-20 minutes) to calm yourself before you act. Get clear on your needs and begin to think of options.
- Busyness. Constantly being busy – on the go – allows no time for reflection that lays the foundation for self-growth. Instead, take some time daily to check-in with yourself about your dreams, ideas, feelings and actions to make sure they align with your values.
- Unwillingness to admit error. Quality and doing the "right" thing is good to strive for. However, errors and mistakes happen. Instead, stop focusing on the error. Choose to focus on what you need to do to fix the problem or concern and know you are constantly able to learn and change throughout your life.
- Substance abuse. This will significantly stop your self-growth. Whether you're self-medicating or seeking escape, the problems just don't go away without the willingness to face them. Instead, find someone you trust to help you have the courage, perseverance and support you need to stop abusing.
Avoid as many of the above 10 barriers to your self-growth as possible when you are facing a change. This takes self-awareness so that you will know when any of the barriers are happening. Be thinking about what else you can do instead to be successful and get the support you need to make it happen.
What other barriers can you add to this list?
Until next time,