Retiring: End Being Stuck

     ?   Are you feeling stuck when you think about retiring? Or maybe you have recently retired and are wondering how to make your retirement dreams a reality

Sometimes when you are not moving forward as planned, it can feel like being stuck or worse yet – like failure. Failure is never fun. That is why so many people fear it and feel like too much is at risk. Fear of failure raises your anxiety which makes it harder for you to make wise choices. Fear makes success feel like only a dream – not a reality.

Last week, I wrote a post, Retiring? 5 Warning Signs You are Stuck. In that post, I gave 5 warning signs of being stuck. Let me begin by quickly reviewing them:

  1. Uncertainty  or self-doubt
  2. Loneliness
  3. Lack of meaning or an emptiness in your life
  4. Frustration
  5. Aggressiveness

If you have one of the above symptoms and know it, you are in the first step of becoming unstuck. In other words, it's hard to get unstuck if you don't recognize you are stuck in the first place. So, once you notice you have any of the above symptoms, try using one or more of the following remedies to achieve the things that are important to you:

  1. Uncertainty – Listen to feedback as objectively as possible. What can you learn? Rise above criticism and mistakes. Trust and believe in your vision. Robert E. Quinn, author of Deep Change, believes that sometimes we have to "build the bridge as we walk on it." In other words, you don't have to have a complete plan before you start to move forward. Sometimes, the process of getting unstuck is taking a series of small steps forward.
  2. Loneliness – Initiate ways to get actively involved with something you are interested in, or even  better, passionate about. Seek out positive, trustworthy people for support. Resist isolating.
  3. Lack of meaning – Find something to do that is challenging or inspiring. Choose to do something important to you or that you have strong feelings about. This might mean reinventing yourself.
  4. Frustration – Be aware of your values. The more closely a situation matches your main values, the more satisfied you will feel. Stop reacting. Break your goal into smaller steps. Make sure you are realistic when you give yourself a time frame to accomplish your goals.
  5. Aggressiveness – Slow down; take deep breaths. Make a list of things in your life that have gone well, you appreciate or are grateful for having. Do this several times a week. When there is conflict or tension, ask for a time out. Set a time to talk later (within 24 hours if possible). Be aware of your needs. Think about what is the result you want to create. Stay open and positive when you resume talking.

Above all, be curious about life.Try some things you haven't tried before. This attitude helps you be open and flexible to learning and trying new things. Ask yourself the following questions and journal your responses:

  • What is your purpose in life?
  • What do you want to be remembered for doing?

As you answer these questions, what ideas do your answers give you. Choose one or two of your ideas and make a commitment to yourself to explore what steps you might take to engage in doing something to make it a reality.

Sometimes it is helpful to talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach to help you sort out which symptom(s) you have. That person can also be helpful in holding you accountable for trying the appropriate remedy and checking back with you to ensure you are making progress and becoming successful. Once you are moving forward again, you will have the needed energy and motivation to pursue your goal.

Action step: After you identify how you are stuck, locate the remedy from the list above that will get you moving in a positive direction. Sometimes you may need to use more than one remedy for a particular situation.

If you need help getting unstuck, we need to talk. I love helping people be successful in aligning their actions with their values. Contact me at: mailto:madpcoach@pattencoaching.com

Comment below about what helps you get unstuck.

Until next time,

Maurine

  

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