There are three things necessary before you can be fully motivated. You must decide to:

1. Be self-disciplined.
2. Focus on the long-term results you want.
3. Change any limiting beliefs about yourself or the goal.

When you are self-disciplined, you respect yourself which builds trust in yourself. When you trust yourself, you are more confident and less anxious about what you are doing. If things get difficult, you have the patience to persevere.

When you think about what you want, the question, “How do I get what I want?” is not helpful. This is a question about the process which is likely to slow you down. Instead, ask about the result you want to have. Focusing on the result clarifies what you need to do.

Motivation comes from your thoughts. Negative, self-doubting or undeserving thoughts are limiting. They must be removed because they drain energy and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can only pursue what you think you deserve.

To be successful in staying motivated, follow your plan, and focus on the results or the benefits you want. Have encouraging thoughts when you feel your motivation weakening. You will find you are developing more motivation.

Contact me if you are interested in learning how to “achieve a life worth living.” Take steps to have a growth mindset to be more motivated.

Action step: Choose one area of your life and focus on a long-term result you want in that area. It may have to do with your health, a relationship, your career, or something personally meaningful to you. Look at the beliefs you have about yourself in regards to achieving the results you want. If any of them are negative, change them to statements that imply a growth mindset – you are learning to …..   Be self-disciplined in following the steps needed to reach your goal.

To your success,

Maurine 

A good question provides the information you need and satisfies three requirements.  Each question:

1. Must be specific and clear so that an accurate answer is possible. 
2. Needs to be simple or have only one part.  Compound questions are confusing because one part may be true and the other part false.  Usually your intuition will only answer the first part.
3. Needs to be directly relevant to the issue you want to know about.  When you want to know if ABC Corporation stock is a good investment, instead of asking if ABC Corporation is a good company, ask if it will be a good investment over a given time period.

In her book, Change Your Questions Change Your Life (2004), Marilee Adams, PhD. believes you can change your future by asking the right questions. 

As you go through life, you need to choose words that are solution rather than blame or problem focused when asking yourself or others questions.  To practice, try using some of the following questions with yourself to keep you moving forward in your personal and professional life:

• What do I want?  Creates self-awareness.
• What can I learn from this?   Creates self-awareness.
• What am I responsible for?   Creates self-awareness, self-control and confidence.
• What is the other person thinking, feeling, needing, and wanting?  Creates empathy.
• What is possible?  Creates motivation.
• What are my choices?  Creates self-awareness.
• What is the best thing for me to do now?  Creates self-control.
• Is this feeling related to the current situation, or is it related to some old situation, person, or feeling?  Creates self-awareness and self-control.
• What are the consequences?  Creates self-control.
• What other information do I need?  Creates self-control and motivation.

If you slightly reword some of the above questions, they can be helpful to other people also.

Action step:  If change and action are what you are looking for, asking more powerful questions can alter your perception and attitude.  Try this with yourself, and see how it helps you get results.

What you can learn by asking powerful questions?  Comment below.

To your success,

Maurine

To keep your motivation high, it is also important to focus on the long-term result or outcome you want.

If you find it difficult to do the above, the following options are small, beginning steps you can take to get you started:

• Choose behaviors that match your words.  When you say you will email someone, send the email. 
• Learn to say “no” to yourself when necessary.
• Visualize attaining the results or outcome you want in color (not the steps it took to get there).  Notice how you feel, look and sound.
• Choose to overcome short-term frustration by focusing on the results you want.
• Believe in your ability to learn and change.

As you think about specific areas of your life in which you want to feel motivated, which decisions are easy for you to make and which are a challenge?

Remember, a challenge is an opportunity for you to become the person you want to be.  My hope is that you will be motivated to do the things that are most important to you.

Action Step:  When you visualize yourself reaching your goal, notice how you feel, look and sound.  Step into that image.  Then ask yourself what you need to do next to get there.

To your success,

Maurine

1. Uncertainty or self-doubt.
2. Loneliness.
3. Lack of meaning or an emptiness in your life.
4. Frustration.
5. Aggressiveness.

If you notice that you have any of the above symptoms, try using one or more of the following remedies to achieve the things that are important to you:

1. Uncertainty – Listen to feedback as objectively as possible.  What can you learn?  Rise above criticism and mistakes.  Trust and believe in your vision.  According to Robert E. Quinn, author of Deep Change, sometimes we have to “build the bridge as we walk on it.”
2. Loneliness - Initiate ways to get actively involved with something you are interested in or, even better, passionate about.  Seek out positive, trustworthy individuals for support.  Resist isolating.
3. Lack of meaning - Find something to do that is challenging or inspiring somewhere in your life.  Re-invent yourself.  What is your purpose in life, or what do you want to be remembered for doing?  Reframe the situation to give new meaning, i.e. “When given a lemon, make lemonade.”
4. Frustration – Be aware of your values.  The more closely a situation matches your main values, the more satisfied you will feel.  Stop reacting.  Break your goal into smaller steps.  Make sure the time frame you give yourself to accomplish what you want is realistic.
5. Aggressiveness - Slow down; take deep breaths.  Make a list of things in your life that you appreciate, are grateful for, or have gone well.  Do this several times a week.  Ask for a time out, and set a time to talk later.  Be aware of your needs.  Think about what is the result you want to create. Stay open and positive when you resume talking.

Sometimes it is helpful to talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach to help you sort out which symptom(s) you have.  That person can also be helpful in holding you accountable for trying the appropriate remedy and checking back with you to ensure you are making progress and becoming successful.  Once you are moving forward again, you will have the needed energy and motivation to pursue your goal.

Action Step:  Once you identify how you are stuck,  then locate the remedy from the list above that will get you moving in a positive direction.   Sometimes you may need to use more than one remedy for a particular situation. 

I love to help people be successful in aligning their actions with their values.

Maurine

Sometimes when you are not moving forward as planned, it can feel like being stuck or worse yet, failure.  Failure is never fun.  That is why so many people fear it.  It seems like too much is at risk.  It raises your anxiety which makes it harder for you to make wise choices.  Achievement may feel like only a dream – not a reality.

Lack of forward movement is easier to handle if it does not negatively affect your self-image.  For instance, it is hardest to handle if you have chosen one of your strengths, practiced it, and not been successful.  Yet, this is not all bad because sometimes it is how you learn.

When you are not achieving either a personal or professional goal, it is important to have good self-awareness.  You need to be able to be honest with yourself.  In addition, it is important to listen to feedback from people that you respect.  Denial about your behavior or role will only sabotage your progress.

Once you can be honest with yourself, you can check and see if you have any of the five warning signs or symptoms of stalled or stuck performance.  If noticed at an early stage, there are steps you can take to begin forward movement and ensure your success.

Warning signs of being stuck are feeling:

1. Uncertainty or self-doubt; you do not believe you can really do the task.  You hear yourself saying “I don’t know” a lot.
2. Loneliness; you lack the support system you need to pursue your goal.
3. Lack of meaning or an emptiness in your life; you have no sense of purpose in regards to your life.
4. Frustration; what you value about life and how you are spending most of your time may be in conflict.
5. Aggressiveness; there may be a fear of losing something that is very important to you.

Action Step:  Determine if you have any of the warning signs.  If you do, choose the one that is most important to you to eliminate.  What is the first step you need to take to begin to eliminate that warning sign? 

It is important to have support in the process of eliminating your symptoms.  Determine who your support people will be.  I will give five remedies (one for each symptom) in my next post. 

Maurine

Using competencies from Daniel Goleman’s model for Emotional Intelligence (Primal Leadership, 2002), the antidotes for procrastination are:

• Accurate self-assessment and awareness.  You need to know your strengths and what is important to you (your values).  It is easier to start a task that requires your strengths and is important to you. When you need to do something that is not one of your strengths, allow more time to complete the task.  Make sure your expectations are realistic.  Avoid negative self-talk.
• Self-confidence.  You need to have a realistic sense of your capabilities and healthy sense of your self-worth.   Also, you need to believe that you can do the task.  Use positive language (I can…, I will…, by…).  The best way to build confidence is to begin doing what you need to do.  Action precedes confidence.
• Self-management, emotional self-control, and adaptability.  These competencies help you keep impulses under control, stay calm, and clear headed while adapting to changing situations.  They are necessary in overcoming obstacles and juggling tasks without losing your energy or focus.  Build in meaningful rewards and breaks to recharge.
• Achievement and initiative.  You need to set realistic goals, accurately calculate risk, be ready to act and seize opportunities.  Break tasks down into small steps; keep your to-do list short.  Picture the finished task to keep you motivated.

If you use the above antidotes, you will move forward.  You may need to start by choosing one antidote to work on.  As you improve, add another one.  If you need support, hiring a coach who has training in Emotional Intelligence can help hold you accountable and increase these important competencies.

Action Step:  To avoid the procrastination epidemic, stop listening to the negative voice in your head.  Begin with small, doable tasks, and control your urge to jump from one thing to another.  Motivation and confidence will follow.

Maurine