Unhappy? Proven Steps To Be Happier

Are there things in your life right now that you are unhappy about? Maybe you might be feeling stuck or having problems with a relationship.

It is possible to live an engaging and meaningful life even if it is not possible at this time to be extremely happy. For instance, you might be waiting for a special event to happen such as finding work that interests you and matches your strengths and values. Maybe you are waiting to sell your home or a family member has a serious illness. Because it is normal to have  difficult times in life, you may wonder how you can keep your emotional strength strong.

One of the first things you need to do is the most difficult. Choose to accept what cannot be changed. This means looking beyond the present so you aren't dwelling on what cannot be immediately changed. Resisting what cannot be changed only depletes your energy.

Instead, you need to start using your energy in a different way. Begin by choosing to use your energy to do as many of the following suggestions as you can:

  • See yourself as a problem solver who is able to find solutions. This helps you stay optimistic and increases your confidence.
  • Make a plan to achieve something that is important to you each day – even if it is only for 15 minutes. It is valuable in building your self-esteem.
  • Seek out what is good in yourself, in others, in situations as opposed to what is bad to build your courage and resilience.
  • Focus on things you are grateful for and appreciate. It can change your thought patterns from hopeless to hopeful.
  • Believe you are a survivor (not a victim) if bad things have happened to you. This will help you stay optimistic.
  • Be consistent in what you say and do. This is critical in building trust with others.
  • Have positive emotions and laughter to reduces your stress.
  • Have contact with important people in your life for support.
  • Look for ways to start your day well. Five minutes of meditating by focusing on a warm feeling helps you get off to a good start.
  • Choose to be optimistic about the outcome for the day. When negative thoughts come up, gently move them aside to focus one of the above suggestions.

To discover which of these suggestions work best for you, keep a record or journal about what happens as you try one or two of  the suggestions for a week. You can add additional suggestions each week. You will begin to see little differences in a week or two. It often takes 4 to 6 weeks to see a significant difference in your mood. With a little effort, you will be surprised by your progress.

How will you apply this information to your unique situation today? If you need some help in finding ways to be happier and more joyful, let's talk. You can email me at mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com.

Until next time,


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